The only thing I got, the only thing I realized months ago I’ve had for a long f**kin’ time, is what I’ve kept as close as I could until I was ready to take it all the way, and that’s f**kin’ you.” “I care about you enough to take another one of these if a man was comin’ after you. His hand grabbed mine, yanked it up, and pressed it flat against his shoulder where the smooth, puckered skin of the ugly scar left by an ax marred his flesh. I care about you enough to make babies with you.” I care about you enough to fight for your nephew with you. I care about you enough to lay roots with you. “You care about me,” I stated quietly, testing my theory. Was he saying what he actually wasn’t saying… but was? “Yes,” I whispered because, finally, I was. Now, are you finally gettin’ how you need to start payin’ attention?” I’m a good man and I’ll take a friend’s back but no one gets that shit from me. “The point I’m makin’ is, I do not feel that way about anyone, Zara. He did it because he thought I needed him. And he didn’t put his arm around me because he needed me. His not being able to protect me was what pissed him off. The only thing I could do to protect you was hold you close and that is not cool. “And in doin’ that strips my power f**king again by makin’ it impossible, unless I acted a bigger dick than I was or got physical, to shield you from that. Then she pops by out of the f**kin’ blue to do right.” He said the last two words with extreme sarcasm. “She showed me how it felt to be stripped of power when she aborted two of my children. It was me having to deal with her that had royally pissed him off. Rachel didn’t have the power to push Ham to extreme emotion. Zara, babe, you do not open the door to our goddamned house and be confronted with that shit. I don’t give a shit she drives for hours to show me she’s changed, she wants redemption.

My girl and I were fightin’, it was intense, it didn’t feel good for either of us, she takes off to blow off some steam and opens the door to my ex?” He shook his head. “And I don’t give a shit if that woman finally did right. “Our home,” he repeated, saying that like the space we rented was sacrosanct. The shadow of his face dipped close to mine, a move so swift I held my breath. “Get this,” he stated, his voice not jagged any longer, but suddenly harsh. “I am,” I snapped because I damned well was. “Please, baby, I know a lot of shit is swirlin’, but pay some f**kin’ attention.”

“Cookie, quiet,” he ordered, his voice jagged and at that tone, I didn’t know what to expect so, even tired, I pulled all I had left close and braced. “Jesus,” he muttered, rolling into me so I took on a lot of his weight. “Ham, you’re the one for me and it doesn’t feel good knowin’ you don’t feel the same.” Seriously, I hated it when he was gentle and reasonable when I didn’t feel like being the same. “All I’m sayin’ is, in future, wait for your right time and give me the same.

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